Buying Groceries Like a Person With a Plan
Walking in for “a few things” and leaving with a lifestyle.Raccoon Rating: 🦝🦝 The grocery store is not neutral…
December 16, 2025
How Often Things Are Supposed to Be Cleaned (Bad News)
The answer is always “more than you think.” Raccoon Rating: 🦝🦝🦝 There was a time when cleanliness was optional.…
December 16, 2025
What a Budget Is and Why It Feels Like a Personal Attack
For raccoons who were happier when food simply appeared.Raccoon Rating: 🦝🦝🦝🦝 A budget is a human invention…
December 16, 2025
Lighting for Raccoons Pretending to Be Adult Humans
Kelvin numbers, dimmer switches, and why mismatched bulbs make you feel like you’re being haunted.Raccoon…
December 16, 2025
How to Write a Check
I am five raccoons in a trench coat being asked to perform adulthood. The questions include “Can you write a…
December 16, 2025
How to Buy Bedding
Buying bedding is one of those human activities everyone pretends is simple. You need sheets. You go to a store.…
December 16, 2025


